Where I’ve been

Back in May, I checked myself into a mental ward for depression.  It was only about 5 months since my last visit, so I asked for “the most aggressive treatment they had.”  They transferred me to another ward downtown so I could get ECT, which stands for electroconvulsive therapy, which is shock treatment.

It apparently is safe enough to administer on pregnant women and really old people, and it’s been around forever.
So Monday / Wednesday / Friday, I was taken down the hall and laid down on an operating table where they placed electrodes on my head and chest.  Then I was pumped full of anesthesia, given some gas, and when I woke up I as disoriented and stupid for the rest of the day. Eventually I was released to my parents’ house (I’m 36 and live on my own, by the way), because I really did need someone to take care of me.  And so they could continue to drive me three times a week to my appointments.
My last session was three weeks ago tomorrow.

Back in May, I checked myself into a mental ward for depression.  It was only about 5 months since my last visit, so I asked for “the most aggressive treatment they had.”  They transferred me to another ward downtown so I could get ECT, which stands for electroconvulsive therapy, which is shock treatment.

It apparently is safe enough to administer on pregnant women and really old people, and it’s been around forever.
So Monday / Wednesday / Friday, I was taken down the hall and laid down on an operating table where they placed electrodes on my head and chest.  Then I was pumped full of anesthesia, given some gas, and when I woke up I as disoriented and stupid for the rest of the day. Eventually I was released to my parents’ house (I’m 36 and live on my own, by the way), because I really did need someone to take care of me.  And so they could continue to drive me three times a week to my appointments.
My last session was three weeks ago tomorrow.
Did it work?  I don’t know, I don’t remember how I was before this morning.  The biggest side effect with ECT is memory loss.  It’s supposed to come back within 6 months, but I’m only 3 week out, so I know nothing right now.  I wouldn’t have even emembered S_G if I didn’t have a bookmark in my browser.  I’m finally back in my own home and I spent the first three days here going through my room because I didn’t know where anything was… I have a lot of action figures in boxes in my closet.  I quit my band because I don’t remember how to play any of the songs.
…i forget where i was going with this, so i’ll just post some more ect images.
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39 thoughts on “Where I’ve been”

  1. good to see you back, hope everything goes well and considering where you live watch out for opportunists I’m sure there’s some amoral scumbags around the way who might take advantage of your memory loss, don’t give those reprehensible scumbags an inch

    by the way I’m going to need that 50 bucks I lent you back in March, I’ve been cool about it so far and there’s really no rush but you know how it is (sorry, couldn’t help myself but really good to see you about)
  2. Hi, I’m erinzdad. You may remember me from your long dark time in San Francisco. If you remember that. We used to commiserate in S_G chat about the joys of mental illness. My friends son had ECT, it worked for a while. I hope yours works great! It’s a little different for everybody, I guess. later, then

  3. I don’t know you. I appreciate that you are doing whatever you can to make your life better. Not everyone has the courage to do what they have to do to keep going. I want you to listen to the music that I’m linking, there is no emotional or social reason for it, the is no lyrical importance, but I think its beautiful and I think your life deserves beautiful so I hope you enjoy it. I love you.

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