Author loremipsumPosted on

SGCupid Profile of the Week

August 27, 2011 7:31 pm GMT -5

Rather than message her privately on OKCupid, I figure I have a much better chance of scoring a date with a Space_Ghetto gal if I make a public post and link to her profile.

Here’s who I’m stalking this week.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DemonsAreReal

Why I’m in love with her: I’m not. This is my brother. Well, I mean, technically I do love him. But like a brother. Because he is my brother. But he has “spaceghetto” in his profile making him fair game for SGCupid Profile of the Week, so let’s make fun of him.

First off, the goatfucker is not 32. I don’t know why he’s lying, or why he made himself younger than I. I’m 33, he’s 35. Maybe he wants to date my friends? Joke’s on him: I don’t have any friends.

Secondly, his photos. Of the four photos, two of them are topless. Long-time readers of SG might remember this photo:

This was taken back in November when I bet him $50 that he couldn’t develop a six pack in two weeks. This was his attempt to convince me that he had won. I posted it to the ghetto asking if he had. I’ll ask it again. Did he win?

Let’s take a look at what his essays have to say. You know what? I’ll just leave this one sentence here:

    I spend a lot of time thinking about: How Reagan’s social and economic policies e.g. “trickle down economics” or that “the state should not approve homosexuality” succeeded so wildly at the voting booth that it set off a trend in the American political landscape so long-reaching that it has left the USA completely divided and confused and its populous screaming at each other 30 years hence (this, despite the utter failings of aforementioned policies along fairly demonstrable lines in any reasonable measure of economic growth i.e. measurements that do not stem from the weirdly distorted take on Milton Friedman’s teachings that the Republican party have invented/rallied around during this same time span; but these distortions are, in this profile author’s view, what started the screaming in the first place).

Want to read his unpublished novel?

Why I won’t talk to her: I’m sure he is just rolling in messages from willing dates and anything I’d send would be lost amongst them. Also, we are brothers and are both hairy Jews.

Rather than message her privately on OKCupid, I figure I have a much better chance of scoring a date with a Space_Ghetto gal if I make a public post and link to her profile.

Here’s who I’m stalking this week.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DemonsAreReal

Why I’m in love with her: I’m not. This is my brother. Well, I mean, technically I do love him. But like a brother. Because he is my brother. But he has “spaceghetto” in his profile making him fair game for SGCupid Profile of the Week, so let’s make fun of him.

First off, the goatfucker is not 32. I don’t know why he’s lying, or why he made himself younger than I. I’m 33, he’s 35. Maybe he wants to date my friends? Joke’s on him: I don’t have any friends.

Secondly, his photos. Of the four photos, two of them are topless. Long-time readers of SG might remember this photo:

This was taken back in November when I bet him $50 that he couldn’t develop a six pack in two weeks. This was his attempt to convince me that he had won. I posted it to the ghetto asking if he had. I’ll ask it again. Did he win?

Let’s take a look at what his essays have to say. You know what? I’ll just leave this one sentence here:

    I spend a lot of time thinking about: How Reagan’s social and economic policies e.g. “trickle down economics” or that “the state should not approve homosexuality” succeeded so wildly at the voting booth that it set off a trend in the American political landscape so long-reaching that it has left the USA completely divided and confused and its populous screaming at each other 30 years hence (this, despite the utter failings of aforementioned policies along fairly demonstrable lines in any reasonable measure of economic growth i.e. measurements that do not stem from the weirdly distorted take on Milton Friedman’s teachings that the Republican party have invented/rallied around during this same time span; but these distortions are, in this profile author’s view, what started the screaming in the first place).

Want to read his unpublished novel?

Why I won’t talk to her: I’m sure he is just rolling in messages from willing dates and anything I’d send would be lost amongst them. Also, we are brothers and are both hairy Jews.

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