Scienterrific Method

Ridicule of a man’s apparent diminutive penis led to an act of
workplace violence. How did the entire TSA crew at Miami International
Airport learn of fellow employee Rolando Negrin’s penis measurement?
Negrin was used as a guinea pig
of sorts, when workers were trained in the use of full-body scanners a
year-ago. And the resulting mockery finally led to Negrin losing his
mind.

After a year of constant jokes about his small man parts, Negrin finally snapped and beat another TSA worker in an airport parking lot:

“Negrin was waiting for the victim in the parking lot after work and
wanted to talk to him about matters of “respect” in the victim’s car. He
wouldn’t let Negrin in. That’s when Negrin took a baton (interesting
choice of phallic weapon) and began to hit him on the back and arms.
Negrin then demanded the witness kneel down and say, “I’m sorry.” The
victim complied and then sped off in his vehicle. Negrin was arrested
the next day, and the victim plans to press charges.”

He told police “he could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.”

There
are various explanations for a man’s penis to appear smaller than it
really is, when an image is captured on a full-body scanner. For
example, it could have been chilly that day and Negrin may have
experienced George-Costanza-like shrinkage, or as surmised by the Miami
Herald, “maybe he’s a grower, not a shower.”