When I came out of my nervous breakdown in 1998; after things stabilized because I got my job back and a roof back over my head and my boyfriend back, who I had cheated on after a drunken night in 97,… after all these things finally stabilized and I wasn’t spinning out of control with anxiety and my own constant doom, I sat up late one night truly understanding, for the first time, that people in this world take their shit out on other people, that some people do it consciously and some people do it unconciously.
I knew that from that point on I had to keep some sort of constant consciousness on it; to watch out for people fucking with me. That it’s not me being a piece of shit and deserving to be fucked with, but that it’s just an innate part of human nature and that I have to stop taking it personally and know that I simply have to be aware of it so I can then establish proper boundaries with it, i.e. leaving boyfriends or friends who do it, or calling co-workers or friends out on it, or staying away from family members who do it. or not going to certain businesses where the clerks treat me that way, etc… read more –>
I think my consciousness about this is the defining reason I don’t have to be on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, the way numerous doctors, family members and our culture have all said that I should be.
…along with me having to also be vigilant about me not taking my shit out on other people too, and taking responsibility and apologizing for it when I do.
onwards to get with the people who don’t need or want to treat other people like shit in order to feel better about themselves.