I’m giving you this idea in hopes that you will take immediate action, thus enriching the lives of millions and advancing humanity ever closer to a new age of enlightenment.
Dear Coca-Cola: bottle the drink every kid at the fountain is already making.
Dear Coca-Cola: bottle the suicide.
Of course you’ll have to market it right, so here’s what not to do: don’t try to come up with a name for it and don’t introduce it as a Mystery Flavor with some naming contest.
Guys, we’ve already named it. Not only that, but we already know what it is and how it tastes. We have a history with it, thinking we were the shit when we made them. Why in the name of Manos Hands of Fate would you want to fuck up built-in brand identity like that?
Now, okay, maybe “Suicide” is too strong a name. Perhaps Marketing would be more comfortable using one of it’s others: graveyard, sewage, pop bomb, swamp water, tornado, kamikaze, garbage soda, hurricane or atomic bomb.
Whatever.
Pick one.
Pick a goddamned name, fucking pour a little of every flavor into a 2 liter bottle, slap on a label, and then make me CEO as this shit sells itself to every fucker who, as a kid, was ever given an empty cup at McDonald’s, ever.
Do this.
Do this now.
In earnest,
Michael C. Lebovitz
(No Ratings Yet)
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