This is the one thing I did ask for. This is a blaxploitation remake of Get Carter. Most British people on IMDB pan this movie and say the Michael Caine version of Get Carter was so much better. But most British people on IMDB are rat soup eatin honkey mothafuckas and don’t count. It’s absolutely nuts. Pam Grier (SPOILERS!!!!) gets savaged by lions. I am absolutely not making this up.
This was a great gift because I lost my bottle opener a while ago and I never bothered getting a new one because I have a pair of scissors with one. So I’m definitely not going to lose this one. A minor quibble: the lack of color in his full body seamless black uniform makes me think less luchador and more rubber suit inflation fetishist who is clearly into choking. But hey, as long as he gets the job done he can do whatever he wants on his own time.
These came in 2 separate packages. I wish I opened this one first because the bubble wrap around the bottle opener was a pain in the balls. It has a money clip to it which makes it extra handy although I’ll have to test and see if it’s as likely to open up in my pocket as I think it will. Still, it’s handy to have around the house. And that’s a box of 100 sharpened utility blades, no less. That’s an important thing for every American to have when they have to get a retail job post-retirement.
If you recall, on Caturday about a month ago I did some kittensitting. Reference below:
Well, she’s finally litter trained and the vet tech was eager to hand her off to us because she kept pouncing on her pit bulls and terrorizing them so last Thursday we brought her in. Meet Holly.
While certainly bigger and no longer liable to pee on me, not much has changed. She’s still in that “bite the shit out of you with teeny teeth” phase and now it’s way more annoying but I’m curbing it as best I can. She thankfully can amuse herself playing with anything inanimate. I watched her play with a 1/8″ strip of paper on the ground for a good 15 minutes. She also likes rolled up socks and donked her head twice under the coffee table dragging a rolled up pair around.
Yeah, my carpets could use a good vacuuming. But the cat(s) roll around in it and they usually end up rolled against the wall. That glaring fluffball is Lilly. She was NOT happy to have a new visitor. Hissing, unhappy noises. Sometimes chasing after the kitten to assert her territory. Holly runs away, hides for a bit, then proceeds to return to playing with everything in sight. You introduce a new cat to a solitary cat (especially when an age difference is involved) and there’s going to be some friction. So a couple days later I spot a cat condo on sale at PetSmart and figure bribery is the order of the day.
If you recall, on Caturday about a month ago I did some kittensitting. Reference below:
Well, she’s finally litter trained and the vet tech was eager to hand her off to us because she kept pouncing on her pit bulls and terrorizing them so last Thursday we brought her in. Meet Holly.
While certainly bigger and no longer liable to pee on me, not much has changed. She’s still in that “bite the shit out of you with teeny teeth” phase and now it’s way more annoying but I’m curbing it as best I can. She thankfully can amuse herself playing with anything inanimate. I watched her play with a 1/8″ strip of paper on the ground for a good 15 minutes. She also likes rolled up socks and donked her head twice under the coffee table dragging a rolled up pair around.
Yeah, my carpets could use a good vacuuming. But the cat(s) roll around in it and they usually end up rolled against the wall. That glaring fluffball is Lilly. She was NOT happy to have a new visitor. Hissing, unhappy noises. Sometimes chasing after the kitten to assert her territory. Holly runs away, hides for a bit, then proceeds to return to playing with everything in sight. You introduce a new cat to a solitary cat (especially when an age difference is involved) and there’s going to be some friction. So a couple days later I spot a cat condo on sale at PetSmart and figure bribery is the order of the day.
The lighting in my apartment has a fucky yellow wash. Lilly is very photogenic but the second you break out the camera phone she starts wriggling around to spoil your shot. She went positively apeshit on this thing. I thought she was about to roll herself off the top. This was a good move with keeping the peace: Lilly could climb to the Penthouse of her Carpeted Fortress of Solitude and Holly could stay down below. At first, Lilly would leap down from her tower and smack Holly around if she started playing with the dangler attached to the ground level. But then she was all “whatever, I’m up here and you can’t so enjoy floor level douche“.
Came home one night and this happened. She has a good Climbing on Shit teacher so this was inevitable. As of present posting time, they’re getting along well enough that they can chase each other around with a minimum of hissing so it sounds like they’re mostly having fun. They have to take turns at the food bowls but in the words of Cyrus “Nobody is wasting nobody. And that, suckas, is the way it should be.” Holly very badly wants to pounce on Lilly’s tail all the time but she knows she’ll get all jacked up for it.
So everything is turning out alright. I can’t get Lilly to stop eating Holly’s food and vice versa so they’re both getting kitten chow and hopefully Lilly won’t pork up too bad. The kitten is alternately snuggly and bitey and the latter is well controlled with a laser pointer. One more thing: Thanksgiving night I was commenting on the kitten constantly getting underfoot. Just then, I accidentally trip over her and go reeling. Fucked my toe up big time. Update to follow with the Day 3 damage as I currently have it wrapped and it’s too big of a pain to redress right now. Stay tuned.
Decided to take a trip down to the big city to check this place out. Small museum but lots of neat stuff about the history of medical advancements. But there’s a lot of neat dark history behind the rejection of things we commonly accept today. Ignaz Semmelweis was an obstetrician that found that if he washed his hands and tools before delivering babies he reduced the “childbed fever” mortality rate from 10% to 1%. But at the time germ theory wasn’t a thing so all his contemporaries called it “balderdash, pure balderdash”. He had a nervous breakdown and was committed to an asylum where he died two weeks later after a vicious beating from the guards. Tough luck being born before actual evidence-based science, dumbass. Hey, check this shit out.
That is a bladder stone the size of a bread roll at a Greek restaurant. Who knows how many people touched that. There was also an ancient Roman catheter made of copper, and you know they probably didn’t do more than spit on the tip before jamming it up your dickhole. The special lady friend was mostly taking Snapchats and she didn’t give two tin shits about the x-ray exhibit where there was some big as shit x-ray tubes. Thomas Edison’s lab assistant got skin cancer for fucking around with x-rays without protection. So he went with x-ray therapy to cure his cancer. It went badly. He was certainly no Thomas Edison in the brains department.
Here’s a display of all the red yarn you have in your body, with some of the blue yarn that holds your gut meats together. If you look in close you can see this dude was packing some huge red wiener meats before he died of skeletal sickness.
Decided to take a trip down to the big city to check this place out. Small museum but lots of neat stuff about the history of medical advancements. But there’s a lot of neat dark history behind the rejection of things we commonly accept today. Ignaz Semmelweis was an obstetrician that found that if he washed his hands and tools before delivering babies he reduced the “childbed fever” mortality rate from 10% to 1%. But at the time germ theory wasn’t a thing so all his contemporaries called it “balderdash, pure balderdash”. He had a nervous breakdown and was committed to an asylum where he died two weeks later after a vicious beating from the guards. Tough luck being born before actual evidence-based science, dumbass. Hey, check this shit out.
That is a bladder stone the size of a bread roll at a Greek restaurant. Who knows how many people touched that. There was also an ancient Roman catheter made of copper, and you know they probably didn’t do more than spit on the tip before jamming it up your dickhole. The special lady friend was mostly taking Snapchats and she didn’t give two tin shits about the x-ray exhibit where there was some big as shit x-ray tubes. Thomas Edison’s lab assistant got skin cancer for fucking around with x-rays without protection. So he went with x-ray therapy to cure his cancer. It went badly. He was certainly no Thomas Edison in the brains department.
Here’s a display of all the red yarn you have in your body, with some of the blue yarn that holds your gut meats together. If you look in close you can see this dude was packing some huge red wiener meats before he died of skeletal sickness.
You know when this box opens, some shit is going to go down. Prior to the mid-19th century, amputations were done without anesthesia so surgeons were all about getting it over with. One dude whose name escapes me held the record for quickest amputation at 35 seconds. In the process, he also sliced off the other dude’s left nut which apparently didn’t disqualify him. But in the early 19th century, nitrous oxide and ether were around but used for recreational purposes. A dentist named Horace Wells noted during one of these huff parties a dude broke his fucking leg and gave zero shits that day. So he tried using nitrous before tooth removals. Everything was so going so well he brought it to a Boston hospital to show off his new innovation to the dentistry community. But the one fucking time he doesn’t use enough nitrous the patient yells out and the whole crowd yelled “humbug” which was old tymey for “bullshit” because it isn’t until Deadwood Season 1 that you could casually call a person a cocksucker in casual conversation. Meanwhile, a former business partner named William Morton and his Harvard professor Dr. Jackson got the bright idea of doing the same thing only with ether. Ether at the time was a better inhalant for surgical anesthesia, and while Morton was the first to come up with this idea he was the first to try to patent it under the name Letheon after it was successfully demonstrated in removing both teeth and tumors. Problem was, you can’t patent ether so everyone thought Morton was an asshole. Plus you had Jackson and Wells trying to claim credit, so it went nowhere. Morton died of a stroke and never got rich off the ether innovation. Neither did Dr. Jackson, an even bigger dickface who tried to claim credit for the idea even those his only contribution was being next to Morton and having access to either because medical students huffed that shit all the time since they had shit tons of it. This wasn’t the first time he would pull shit like this and even had the stones to claim he invented the telegraph before Samuel Morse. We all know how that went, and Jackson died in an asylum.
As for Wells, chloroform seemed to be the up and coming knockout drug of choice (ether stuck around as it was harder to overdose on). So he did some self-experimentation. That landed him in the Tombs in New York for trying to throw sulfuric acid at prostitutes completely fucked up on chloroform. He committed suicide in his cell at 35 by slitting his wrists, having used chloroform beforehand. Happy Fucking Halloween.
This was in a notebook near an exhibit. I zeroed in on this and made my feelings known. Sorry so messy. Whatever, dicks. If you didn’t want to learn anything why aren’t you at the Bean like every other jackoff day tripper. Oh right, it’s cold and windy as shit out. It was a free day and this book was across from an exhibit about trepanning with hole filled skulls. Incan trepanning devices that looked like giant arrowheads for punching a fucking hole in your skull along with some little ones for scooping out the skull fragments without trying to make too big of a mess. You climbed up to the 4th floor and was disappointed they didn’t have an IMAX theatre so you could sit down for 40 minutes and continue to not learn anything? I guess the only thing left is to suck my big fat red yarn dick.
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