2020 is bringing some shit

I don’t ever post personal shit to y’all but I’m about to… After 20 years of running my own business as a programmer I had to accept employment from the Man.  I didn’t have to cut my hair off but I have sacrificed a lot to take care of my people.  Two weeks ago my dad tested positive for cancer.  On Friday they found it’s stage 4 and too big to operate on.  I’m the oldest of four brothers and brother 3# has walked a hard road of addiction and mental illness and today he ended that with heroin.  I’m not really sure why I’m posting this here except that I need to say it somewhere.

There are many wonderful things in my life and I’m not all deadended or anything so dramatic as that but fuck…


(8 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

14 thoughts on “2020 is bringing some shit”

  1. sorry to hear it mate.. health issues all around, and some they cannot fix. just gotta be there for the ones to get some comfort, as for the ones who passed, they’re already in a better place.

  2. Sorry to hear that Garciuh.  My dad checked out a year ago yesterday, life makes a dramatic change after that at least for me.  Your brother that is the worst sorry again.  As for the man, the man wants everyone to be his slave and he’s doing an efficient job of going that direction but throwing shit in his face (like Space Ghetto or an aesthetic revolt) makes it a wee bit harder for the big takeover. Thanks for you work.

  3. All I can say beyond, sorry, is that you are not alone and sharing does help. Continue to do so when shit starts to get overwhelming. Best wishes and good luck.

  4. Damn brother, I know what you are going through. My dad died after a 10 year illness of which I took care of him for over half of. My cousin has O.D.’d on heroin three times. What I can tell you is focus on you. Focus on making sure that you have energy. Sleep enough, eat enough, and remember to make time to laugh and have fun. If you focus everything on those around you and taking care of them you run your tank totally empty. When that happens, you don’t have the strength to fight being depressed and most of all you can’t help those you love. Keep your head up and make sure that you come here and vent when you need to. There will be some fucking hard day ahead, but you will come out the other side, maybe a little scratched and dented, but you will make it. Keep us updated when you find the time. Like Vile said, it can help to share. Good luck!

  5. It’s right that you wrote it here, no doubt.
    Take good care of yourself, Garciuh.
    When your posts do not appear for a long time, I begin to worry about you.

  6. Sorry to hear that man. Life can throw some mean curve balls at us. Sometimes a few in a row.
    I’m in a strangely similar situation. Father is dying a horrible death from MND (or ALS as you yanks call it). It’s just an evil disease really, makes me feel sick sometimes thinking about it. I’m also looking for a “real job” after freelancing for 5 years. AND no dead brother, but two with schizophrenia who’re playing up sometimes who stress Mum out even more than is fair. It sounds like I’m moaning but I’m just… sharing I guess. It’s sad but I almost feel numb about all this stuff since I’ve had a while to get used to it. I don’t know how I feel about the numbness… maybe that is what is making me sad? Anyway… I hope your fathers exit is as painless as possible given the situation. Try enjoy your limited time with him but I know it can be tough with the added pressure of “making the most of it” whatever that can mean – I’m sure he’s proud of you being a good sort though. And what a massive blow losing a brother at a time like that… must be devastating.
    Don’t wear yourself out! last thing your family needs is another casualty. lots of love.

  7. we are with you and you are not alone. I have no experience yet for such situations, but i wish you strength and belief, that there are times to enjoy, even if there is reason not to.

  8. I JUST heard the trademark of a good friend as “ Someone you can tell bad news”.I just had to Unplug my brothers life support system  a couple weeks ago, on top of an Already Full Plate of Shit.YOU have Always been here when it was convenient for ME!! I’m glad to be here for You when you needed something.

    Thank You for Warping my Mind my FRIEND

  9. My apologies for these tragedies the universe has visited upon you, not the least of which are your losses.  When I had to quit self employment and go to work for the man, I quit three times and got fired three times in a nine year span.  So watch your mouth, ya hear?  Seriously, I love you.  You be good to you.

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