Month: September 2014

Requirements: 1 woman, 1 man, 1 triggered footstool, 1 computer, internet connection, lots of dildos in different size and textures.

Difficulty Level: 2

This is a position usually preferred by
bi-sexual stockbrokers. These people, who are looking for some peace of
mind after their nerves are ruined during sessions, were among our
book’s sponsors. We prepared this position specifically for them, after
long hours of trial and error.

The footstool you see is not an ordinary
one. There is a hole in the middle where you can sit, it has a powerful
computer and it is loaded with different types of dildos. The world
never stops for a broker and the market never closes while the
stock-exchange, future bods, parity continues on. The broker can program
different dildos for different markets. For example, Dow Jones is long
and veined, Tokyo is thin and jagged, Moscow is thick and short, and
parity is soft and smooth. This way, the man can have sex with his
partner, all the while keeping track of the ups and downs of the
markets. The only bad side of this is when the man runs to buy and sell
when he learns of a hard market movement and the partner is left with
this magnificent toy and does not need him anymore.

We Will Live Again

Figure 1: Pre-1992 freezing damage in brain tissue after treatment with 3 molar glycerol. This light micrograph prepared by “freeze substitution” in the frozen state shows extensive ice crystal damage. This is the kind of damage that many commentators assume is common in cryonics patients. Their assumption is outdated and incorrect.

Figure 2: Pre-1992 freezing damage in brain tissue after treatment with 4 molar glycerol. This electron micrograph prepared after thawing shows tears surrounding a capillary, and a naked cell nucleus with no cell membrane (dark rounded object). There seems to be less damage in frozen-thawed tissue than in tissue imaged in the frozen state.

Figure 3: 1992-2001 freezing damage in brain tissue after treatment with 7.5 molar glycerol. This electron micrograph prepared after thawing shows tears surrounding a capillary, but otherwise good structural preservation.  With this protocol, ice damage occurs at intervals throughout the brain, but with most of the volume remaining ice-free.

Figure 4: Today brain tissue preserved with a modern vitrification solution shows virtually no freezing damage. Whole neurons are visible with intact membranes and well defined structure. This is the excellent brain preservation which Alcor can now achieve in human patients. Most “experts” who complain about damage caused by cryonics procedures are unaware that such preservation is now possible.